I’m trying so hard to keep my hopes low so I won’t be crushed again, but I can’t help thinking and really hoping that I’m pregnant right now.
Today was Day 11 post ovulation and my temp remained high, whereas for the past three cycles it has dropped on Day 11. And for the past three days I’ve had moments of nauseous stomach/queasy stomach/general not feeling great. Of course I tell myself it’s WAY too early to be feeling that due to pregnancy, but still, I don’t feel that way other times. (If I’m not pregnant then I obviously am a little nuts making myself feel symptoms in hopes of being pregnant). So I have to admit, I feel like this is going to be the month, I feel like I’ll get a positive test. It’s going to REALLY suck if I don’t since I have my hopes so up high right now.
Tomorrow morning if my temp is still high I’m going to take one of those early pregnancy tests that can detect pregnancies up to 6 days before your expected period (and at 68% six days before, that’s incredible). Tomorrow would be around 3 days before my expected period so if I am pregnant, it theoretically should give me a positive. I’m so hopeful right now but also starting to get nervous about only seeing one line.
My one worry is that this cycle, my temp went up just hours after I ovulated (I felt the pains at 4:30 a.m. and my temp was already up at 8:00). All my other cycles, it has taken over a day for my temp to go up. So I have this little worry that tomorrow will be the key day, like the regular Day 11, so I will be very very nervous taking my temp tomorrow morning. BUT, if it’s still up then I get to take a test that I hope will be positive, so it all hinges on what my temp is when I wake up. I’m feeling so nervous already. Excited but more nervous.
Last night I had terrible insomnia. I fell asleep at 10:30 and our dog woke me up at 12:30 to go out, and then I couldn’t fall back asleep until around 4:00 a.m. I’ve had insomnia a few times over the past couple months, so I don’t think it’s anything related to being or not being pregnant, but I am noting it just in case.
So I’m very yawny right now. I hope J will want to rent a movie tonight on iTunes so we can cuddle and eat popcorn and watch something good that will keep my mind off tomorrow morning’s temp and possible test. And then I’ll be really sleepy after that so hopefully sleep well all night.
OMG, tomorrow morning I COULD get a positive. But I need to not get excited yet, otherwise I will be so so depressed tomorrow morning if my temp drops or I get a negative test. So the goal is to focus on other things until tomorrow morning.
I took Elsa to the mall for a bit today. Today was Elsa shopping day, and can I just say that there are WAY WAY WAY too many incredibly adorable summer clothes for little girls. Seriously! I wanted to buy her so so many things! Especially at Baby Gap! It’s good that I don’t have much money right now cause otherwise I think I would blow it all on dressing Elsa adorably! Next week I will go again and be looking for things for me: a) a cute infinity scarf to wear with an outfit, b) possibly a certain pair of flats for spring and summer, c) possibly a cute light jacket or fleece to replace my 6 or 7 year old one that I’ve worn pretty much all winter – I want one that looks a little nicer and more stylish, oh and d) possibly a new pair of sunglasses, oh and e) maybe a necklace. Money is the problem, so letter a is the only one I will for sure be looking to buy. And I need to get my jeans hemmed and one pair of black pants hemmed.
We’re visiting J’s family in Vancouver at the beginning of April and his mom is so stylish and always looks so good (and also has the money to buy really good clothes), so I usually feel like such a bum compared to her and there are plenty of other issues there so if I can at least feel good about my clothes then that will be wonderful. I am soooooooo grateful to my mom for taking me shopping when we were visiting there and spoiling me so much, every single day when I put on the clothes she bought me I feel good. And I’m getting a haircut next Tuesday and am finally going to change my hairstyle that I’ve had for probably 20 years (long layered hair with center part). I am now moving my part over to the side a bit, and am still keeping my current length with just a trim, but I’m going to either have very long side bangs or possibly medium length side-swept bangs. I’ve considered regular long kind of messy bangs but I’m not sure how it would work with my hair, so I’ll go for a smaller change, but still a substantial change, to start with! I’m so excited that I’ve finally got the courage to try a slightly different hairstyle!! And I’m so super excited that I will have an actual hairSTYLE, and that will give me more confidence as well!
I’m just going to list here for myself now the things I still need to get for Elsa for summer: a hat with strap (I haven’t found a single hat I like yet), more capri leggings with ruffles (I bought a pair today so I’ll try it on her, I hope it’s more fitted than the ones we bought already that seem so loose, I don’t think they’ll ever fit her this summer), a couple more cute sleeveless or cap-sleeve shirts, and at least one pair of cute sandals closer to summer when I know her actual shoe size then.
My sweet girl is starting to move around a tiny bit in her crib so I think she’s on the way to waking up. I’m so happy we have leftovers from last night to eat for dinner tonight cause I so don’t feel like cooking. First cause I’ve had just the slightest tiniest stomach ache for a couple hours now, and second cause I’m so tired both from lack of sleep last night and also from the super gray skies today.
I will be posting over the weekend regardless of whether I find out I’m pregnant or not. Hopefully yes, fingers and toes and everything else so crossed for a high temp and positive test result!!!!!!!!!!